I still remember 2019 being the toughest year for me. It was the year when I felt the most lost in life, I graduated from high school, decided not to go to college, landed my first job. Sure, it looked like I had figured it all out for myself but that was not the case at all.
In the back of my mind I have always known that I didn’t want to do a 9 to 5 job and I absolutely didn’t want to live a monotonous life. It was just not for me, I wanted to learn filmmaking but coming from an Indian society that dream seemed so far fetched given the fact that almost everyone thought that I was being dumb. I knew that if I wanted to do something that I like then I would have to do it secretly! Shuuu!!! Don’t tell anyone ! Ahahahah
I have always been a very naive kid who likes to dream big so I decided that I would become a cabin crew and do my thing on the side and no one would know. I know, it sounds ridiculous but I’m not ready to let go of my dream so easily. Before I decided all this for myself I was in Manipur and I moved to Delhi as everyone in my family lives there, 3 days in in Delhi and I was already packing my bags for Shillong, I decided to get enrolled in Saint Anthony College for a diploma course in Video Production. I instantly fell in love with Shillong as soon as I was out of the airport. My uncle was waiting for me outside and we went straight to a hotel.
My entrance exam was still due for few weeks so I would often take a walk and explore the city by myself. If I could settle there for the rest of my life I wouldn’t mind at all. It was just so beautiful and people were great too. But that’s not all! All this free time in my hand made me question myself multiple times, if I was taking the right decision or not? I would often turn to God for help and he helped me so much. I would always feel lighter after praying, It always felt like he was there with me, guiding me.
With so many things, running in my head and not being able to decide on what I should actually do, It seemed like taking a gap year would be the best thing to do. So, I called up my father and we agreed on this decision of mine and I was back again in Delhi.
It was hard saying goodbye to such a beautiful place. But I don’t regret my decisions, although it was hard, I have learned so much and I’m thankful for all the little things in life. Crazy how things work, shortly after that my grandma got very sick and she had a tumour removed from her back and if you know me then you know that I love my grandma the most in this world. Haven’t I taken that gap year then I won’t be by her side. And before you all get worked up! Yes she is all good now. I’m just glad that I could be with her.